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Armageddon Dating & Polyamorous Place Relationships

By Matthew Zylstra @eyes4earth · On January 31, 2021

Armageddon Dating: Maybe you’ve heard of it, maybe you’re doing it.

This covid “rolling lockdown” phenomenon is about furiously dating while – and when – one can. Apparently most popular among the more ripened singles over 30s, Armageddon Dating is driven by the feeling that the dating landscape – and the unrestricted opportunity to freely meet and interact others – may be set for irreversible change. Doomed even.

Whether spawned by fear, by FOMO, or by pragmatism, there is a vivid realisation that now is the time to act: either to experience as much as possible while one can or, conversely, to hasten the search for a soulmate. Perhaps another lockdown alone is too much to bear thinking about. Perhaps the thought that the breathless question, “Do you have protection?” will involve pulling out a ‘health passport’ is also a romance dampener.

I recently become aware that my relationship with nature has come to resemble Armageddon Dating.

Given the constant impending lockdowns, intermittent restrictions on beach and waterways access, I have been rapidly trying to spend time with new nature areas, while I can. Or, who knows, revisiting past nature flings a final time. This past January was therefore fun but a little exhausting.

If there was one positive outcome of the initial lockdowns, it was that many people had the opportunity to develop a (re)new(ed) relationship – and hopefully authentic appreciation of – one’s everyday place and green space.

This sense of place is critical to forming bonds and connections. Just like a long-term relationship with a person, a consistent deepening and attentive interaction with ‘place’ lifts layers to reveal new ‘sides’, new seasons, new species, even. Empathy is cultivated in ways not previously considered.

However, under the current circumstances, it became clear to me that there is a case to be made for a “polyamorous relationship with place”.

A polyamorous place relationship means that we do all we can to bond and love ‘our place’, i.e. a regularly visited ‘nature spot’. Local is lekker. But, if the opportunity presents itself, then we allow ourselves to delightfully revel in a superficial sensory-filled adventure with another, more foreign, nature area too.

Love your place more than anything but allow lust for an affectionate fling.

The above image is from a wild night out in the Karoo. And the significance of the rainbows? Armageddon Dating invites experimentation too!

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Matthew Zylstra

Matthew Zylstra, PhD is an ecologist, lecturer and facilitator focusing on human~nature connectedness. His transdisciplinary research has entwined ecology, environmental psychology, and education in support of deep learning and wellbeing. He is a keen naturalist, especially in coastal and marine ecosystems.  Matthew’s PhD dissertation on meaningful nature experience, nature connectedness and its role in transformative education is freely available for download here »

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… some will cast their gaze to the heavens to a …
some
will cast
their gaze
to the heavens 
to an eclipse that may
bring new awakening

so..me
i’ll drop
my gaze
to the depths 
to be eclipsed by the 
everyday beauty awaiting 

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species: bluntnose klipfish
“One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.”
	- William Shakespeare 

This quote by Shakespeare speaks to the interconnectedness of all living beings through their shared natural essence. It suggests that a felt experience of ‘nature’ can transcend perceived cultural, social, and species boundaries. Nature, in its raw beauty and presence has, when given a particular kind of attention, the power to evoke universal emotions and stir a sense of commonality among beings. It offers a potent reminder of the fundamental bond that connects all living creatures. Irrespective of our individual backgrounds, ideologies or beliefs, we are all part of the greater tapestry of nature with our pulsing sensing animal bodies.

(So, go on, Mariah, touch it. I never would’ve thought your music would serve a purpose for me!)

Source: adapted from The Socratic Method
An unusual show of flair & bravado compared to mos An unusual show of flair & bravado compared to most octopus I encounter in Keurbooms estuary that are reticent, wary & tucked away . 

#octopus #keurboomsestuary
If you live near the Plettropolis come join us for If you live near the Plettropolis come join us for a  conversation about meaningful nature experiences.

Fellow Frisian descendant and percussionist @jamesvanminnen and I will be yarning about nature connectedness and what’s new in the decade since I completed my deep doctoral dive into the topic. We expect we might cover some tenuous terrain and beat around the bush. 

Details (see link in bio👆🏼):

Thursday 14th March 19h00-20h30 at The Harmony Centre at Kwendalo, Plettenberg Bay
Contribution: suggested R50-R100 (includes tea and refreshments)
RSVP by Wed 13 March: hello@kwendalo.co.za or
044 004 0366

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